Children’s Distress

When children experience distress, it often weighs heavily and affects not only the child in distress but the entire family. As a parent, one often feels helpless. One feels guilty, while also focusing on what might be causing the child’s distress. In such cases, it may be more important to find a systematic way to solve the problem.

With my more than 30 years of experience as a psychologist in this field, it’s important to mention that I rarely know the exact cause. However, in collaboration with families, I have found various solutions that have brought great joy to the child and the rest of the family.

Distress in Children

Good well-being is important for children’s health and joy of life, as well as for their development. When children experience distress, it can be due to many different reasons such as divorce, stress, insecurity, lack of care, or grief after, for example, a death. Some children also experience bullying at school, which they may find difficult to talk about at home. This can contribute to strong feelings of betrayal, loneliness, low self-esteem, and self-confidence.

Well-being is a diffuse concept that is very individual from child to child. It can therefore be difficult to say exactly what one can do to improve their child’s well-being. If your child has, for example, autism, ADHD, or another psychological diagnosis, it is important to be aware of these signs. If they do not receive the right help to manage them, there is a risk that the child may develop further depression, stress, or anxiety.

Signs of Distress in Children

There can be various symptoms that indicate a child is not thriving. These signs also depend on the underlying cause and associated factors, as well as whether it is a child, teenager, or adult experiencing distress. Typical signs in children who are distressed may include:

• Sleep problems
• Lack of interest in play and activities
• Downcast
• Passivity
• Restlessness
• Anxiousness
• Sadness
• Expressing emotional pain
• Difficult and irritable
• Difficulty concentrating
• Frequent crying
• Unexplained pain
• Frequent conflicts with peers and adults
• Anxiety
• Phobias
• Nervousness
• Social isolation
• High school absenteeism
• Restlessness
• Self-harming behavior

There are many other signs of distress, and the signs are rarely unambiguous. Therefore, be aware of changes in behavior and patterns and take your concerns seriously, as they may be signs of distress in your child.

Causes of Distress in Children

There are many and very different reasons why children experience distress. The three examples below can contribute to your child not thriving.

1. Trauma
   If a child has experienced traumatic events in their life such as adoption, sexual abuse, violence, or bullying, which have resulted in trauma. When this happens, the child’s nervous system will be in a heightened state of alert in various ways, which often leads to distress if the child does not receive the right help. However, it should be noted that not all traumatic experiences become traumas.
2. Diagnoses
   Some children experience distress because they have specific psychological difficulties such as autism or ADHD. However, diagnoses do not necessarily mean being in distress. But diagnoses describe difficulties that can make a child’s daily life more strenuous than that of their peers. Children with diagnoses, and their parents, may need professional help to manage specific challenges so that they do not result in distress for the individual child.
3. Unhelpful Patterns
   Some children experience distress because there are problems in their close relationships. No parent consciously wishes to create problems for their children, but sometimes it can happen anyway. This is completely natural. Being a good parent is not about being a flawless parent, but rather being willing to practice doing something different from what is unhelpful for the child. When a child is in distress, parents and siblings also experience distress, and it can be beneficial for the whole family to get help changing these unhelpful patterns.

Treatment for Children in Distress

If you have a child who is experiencing distress, my many years of experience as a psychologist allow me to help your child and your family with professional therapy and treatment. The same applies to my skilled colleagues here at Psykologhuset Enigma.

If you are in the slightest doubt whether it is a good idea to involve me or one of my colleagues as a psychologist, or if you have questions about my treatment methods or similar, you are always welcome to contact me. Together, we can discuss your child’s situation and find out what can help your child, you as parents, and your family.

You can call me at 20 14 70 71 or send an email to info@p-enigma.dk. I will get back to you as soon as possible!